People have told me that Im stragely comfortable with death. I think a lot of it has to do with my faith, but also for some reason I have always just thought of it as another part of life. Something that we all will have to go through at one point or another. Lia's grandmother passed away last week, bringing up all sorts of new discussions about death, dying, and the grieving process.
It is interesting to be on the fringe of the whole process. Grace was certainly a part of my life, but not nearly to the extent that she was of Lia and her family's. To watch each person in her family deal with this tragedy in their own way was interesting. Some people decided to take on everything--all of the responsibility of getting everything done for the ceremony. I wondered whether they were doing it for themselves or for their grandmother--coming to the conclusion that it was probably both. The pastor at the ceremony stated that these days, funerals seem to be more for the living than the dead. And I think that is true.
Other people decided to grieve in their own personal way, smiling and going along with everything, letting a tear fall whenever they thought that no one was looking. I dont think that there is anything wrong with this. Some people would say that they are bottling up their emotions, but I think they are just trying to avoid having to say things that other people won't/can't understand.
I dont have any of my grandparents left. The last passed away when I was around 16 years old. Thats about 7 years since anyone connected to me by blood has left the earth. I remember it was strange--expecting to be going up to Pennsylvania in the summertime to visit my grandparents, only to spend it vacationing in Asheville or someplace else. Though I know they are still with me, I cant help but wonder what they are doing now. If celestial bodies actually can "do" things.
One of the hardest things for me to come to grips with is the actual idea of heaven. Not believing whether it exists or not--I know that it does--but just what people do up there. I always seem to be coming to the same paradox. How can there be no sadness? Would we even know what happiness is if we have nothing to compare it to. Isn't it the bad times that make the good times so great. How can things be fun if there is no real risk involved? Wouldn't roller-coasters be redundant in heaven?
Just to clarify--Im not wondering how heaven can exist. Im just wondering what it would be like. I guess it's just that Im thinking of this in human terms--where our minds work by using limitations and boundaries. In heaven neither of those things exist, therefore trying to figure these paradoxes out is pointless. Its impossible to solve them with our human minds.
The only thing we can do is wait.
2 comments:
Yeah. I'm with you. I guess it will be something none of us thought to expect. By the way, have you seen Rob Bell's video Everything Is Spiritual? It's not exactly on the topic of heaven, but this made me think of it. I think you'd enjoy it. Plus, there's a lot of cool science-y stuff, which I geek out about and think everyone will love, though they may not...but you're a smart guy who could appreciate it I think. :)
Erin--I haven't seen it. But I do love a good geek-out session!
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